The women dare speaking
Thousands of couples passed by its cabinet. The evils are sometimes the same ones, the words, them, radically changed. And, in this new release of the verb, the women seem pionnières: “Today, they are much more at ease with their sexuality, explains the gynaecologist and psychosomatician Sylvain Mimoun. Whatever the age or social environment, the word of the women was very clearly released. ” Thus to state are 96% to have phantasms, of which 80% are said ready to carry them out, watch the Ipsos investigation which the therapeutist comments on in his book (to read framed).
They have some… and they acknowledge it
Today, on television as in the dinners, everywhere one speaks about sex without constraints nor taboos. And one reveals, without fear, his reality like his interior world. “The phantasm, it is the sex in a pure state, stripped feelings, explains Sylvain Mimoun. There are still about fifteen years, the majority of my patients to me said that they did not know what it was, whom they did not have. Just they knew those of their husband. They were often constrained besides. Today, they go more or less far in the imaginary one, but the majority of them fantasment and say it much more quickly to me. ”
They are still afraid of it
A little shopgirls, they think with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or with “the beautiful unknown of the subway”. Romantic, they are dreamed “with the corner of fire, with champagne and strawberries”, or “enclosed for the night in the temple of Pétra”. More dared, they would like to be “the object of an old pervert”, or “offered to another girl under the glance of [their] man”… On a billiard table, with the coffee machine, in a carpark. Catches violently or lascivement. The dependent fists or the bandaged eyes, dominating or subjected, it is according to…
In the consulting room of the doctor, they would dream from now on with high voice of fantastic rides as they tell their headaches to their general practitioner… Pure fantasy, for the blow. Because decencies remain, despite everything. Sylvain Mimoun tells how the veil rose, which it still protects, and how itself advances all carefully to lead its patients to entrust: “They are often afraid of their own sexuality. Our culture Judeo-Christian was built on the idea that female sexuality was inevitably devouring and impossible to appease. From where the interdicts which weighed on it during centuries. The women are not disencumbered of it. My patients often say to me: “But if I start, I do not know where that will stop.”
For them, speech of their phantasms, it is last walk before the passage to the act. However, nothing obliges us to carry them out. Imagination is enough sometimes and it is not dangerous. In addition, they are often afraid to be taken “for the insane ones”, as they say. They wonder whether they are “normal”. But, on the matter, there are not a standard, goods or bad phantasms. Lastly, when they are younger, they mix the act and the thought: “To have a phantasm, it is the beginning of the inaccuracy.” ”
They discuss it with their partner
“They speak about it also more easily with their companion. Besides I see more and more men complaining that their partners have too assumed phantasms, too expressed, and that they make share of it by employing too believed words?! In a few years, balance deeply changed, as well in words as in acts”, Sylvain Mimoun reveals.
Initially, it is necessary to take time to find a common language. And, since men and women do not speak the same language completely, the training must be done carefully. “The phantasm is not a receipt which one can release with the other of goal in white, the doctor prevents. Sexuality is already a delicate question. There, one touches with the major intimacy of each one. When one becomes too technical, or interventionist, it is the assured failure: the door is closed again. A couple must let its dialogue in love settle in time. It is a history which one tells to two, as confidence settles. It is necessary to launch poles, and to wait to see whether the other seizes them before going further. A word of through, and the charm can break. Especially, when the phantasm is played in stereophony, it is necessary to be held ready: a word will call another of them. ”
However, to this verbal higher bid the question of the passage is added to the act: “To two, the phantasm any more will not be enough. One will want to test… And to support the passage to reality, for its risks of disillusions, it is necessary to be with the tuning fork. Without counting that in its turn a phantasm will call another of them. The climbing is inevitable. ” It is necessary to be aware of it. To be aware also its own limits.
