What makes me afraid. Part – 2
“I am afraid to punish”
Insinuation: “I prefer speech. ” As if the punishment were an insult with the intelligence of the child… However, Claude Halmos, the punishment recalls, when it is not humiliating and that it is proportional to the fault, is neither an educational “under-tool” nor a form of ill-treatment. “It is essential. The interdict must be learned with the child. If it transgresses it first once, a call to order can be enough. On the other hand, if it continues to transgress, the sanction is essential – each relative having to invent the punishment which seems to him best adapted to the child and the gravity of the transgression. How the child could include/understand the importance of a rule if a punishment does not sanction its transgression? ” It is more than prejudicial, for him and the company, than it grows with the false idea and dangerous that it can badly act as any impunity. Without counting that the relative who speaks instead of sanctioning ends up losing any credibility with the eyes of his child. The punishment is also used to make respect the words of the parents, it gives them weight and direction, and prevents that they are not transformed into inoffensive blah.
“I am afraid of the conflicts”
The family life must proceed in good mood and serenity… The phantasm tempting, and is largely shared, but unrealizable. The conflict is inevitable because the child always opposes the limits, at least initially, and that the confrontation is structuring for him, although he is consumer of energy for the parents. A small child is not civilized: he is dominated by his impulses, the “pleasure principle” and the absolute power; so that it becomes it, it must change its initial operation. And, for that, the authority of his/her parents is essential for him. A child builds himself while being opposed. These divergences inevitably create frictions. For the psychoanalyst, to assume them, without seeking to preserve the peace of the moment, it is quite simply to make its duty of teacher. ?
